Pretty Fly for a Fat Guy

Intro

I'm gonna face facts: I'm not hot, and I never will be. I'm not saying I'm ugly, I'll just never have the traits that men need in this modern era to be classified as "hawt." I'll never have a chiseled jaw line, or 6 pack abs, or the little V line at your waist that says you're in great shape. I'll never have these because I don't intend to dedicate the time that they require. My lifestyle does not match with the amount of time and energy it would take to get "shredded." I like food too much to only eat the lean chicken and whey powder my diet would call for.

This was me in High School. You're welcome, ladies.

I'm 6'4", currently over 300 lbs. I'm a big dude. I'm working on that, but it takes time, and I'll never not be a big dude. So, knowing in my heart of at-risk-hearts that I won't look great with my clothes off, I like to look as good as possible with my clothes on. I haven't always thought this way. High school Edd wore silk dragon shirts, cargo pants, and literal rose-colored glasses. It was a dark time.
In college, Riss and another friend took me shopping. They made me get "outfits" and things that "matched" and didn't look "awful." What a nightmare that was! But then I got used to it, and I liked the way it looked, and then I went further, buying suits, and fancy socks, and ties, and shirts that fit, and fashionable shoes. It's a slippery slope. I may never be hot, but I can at the very least be stylish.
It's not easy being a stylish fat guy. The largest shirt you can find in department stores is a 2X, sometimes. The largest pants you can find is around a 40x32. And I'm saying you can FIND them, but not that they'll have anything resembling selection or variety. They're also going to cost extra much of the time, a fat tax. And if you're bigger than that, or it doesn't fit right? Good luck. You're relegated to awkward cuts, fewer choices, and/or tight, poorly-fitted clothing.
Lately I've seen a lot of body-positive stories surrounding plus-sized female models. This is great news, because it means that companies will finally start designing for plus-sized women, which has been a major issue for a long time. For the time being, big dudes still don't have that representation, so for now, we wait. The struggle is real.
Recently, I've discovered some things that help me stay ahead of the game, stay stylish. In this series I'll take you through the trials and tribulations of being a stylish fat guy, with tips, tricks, and photos.