Pretty Fly for a Fat Guy: The Importance of Pants

~Edd

In this episode of Pretty Fly for a Fat Guy, I learn a valuable lesson about pride versus reality.
So let me start with a question: how many of you are excited with going up a clothing size? Literally nobody? Alright, thought so.
Throughout my childhood, my mother always told me that my pants should fit at my natural waist. [Correct] She then proceeded to buy pants that did that, but sat about an inch above my ankle. [Incorrect] So I started wearing my pants lower to compensate, right under my childlike potbelly. This became habit, and right up until yesterday, this is how I wore my pants. There are come pros and cons of this.
Pro: My waist is significantly larger than the pant sizes you'll see at your average department store, so wearing them low means I can actually find pants.
Con: Wearing your pants too low results in plumbers' crack. We've all seen it, and the image cannot be scrubbed from our brains. It's an epidemic that plagues fat guys everywhere.
Pro: Finding an appropriately sized belt is also way easier.
Con: Sagging your pants super low causes what I like to call "dumpy butt." This is where the seat of your pants sags down, robbing you of a butt, and making it look like you took a dump in your shorts.

It looks like a weight loss photo, but it's just the pants!

 Apparently, wearing your pants below your stomach accentuates your stomach.
The top row shows the pants that I was wearing that day, where I've been wearing them for years. The bottom row is a much larger waist size, worn where they're SUPPOSED to be.
Riss had a hard time convincing me to go up that many sizes. I fought it tooth and nail. "I've never been that big," I whined, and other such bullshit excuses. Then I tried a pair that she gave me, and I said to myself, "self, you look damn fine." Trick was right...
I was so ashamed to go up to a real size, that I was making myself look, and feel, bigger. By sucking up my pride and buying the appropriate pair of pants for my body, I made a HUGE difference. As you can see from the picture, it smoothed out my lines, reduced the appearance of my stomach, and completely got rid of my muffin tops.
The pants I wore were 42x32, then pants I bought were Lee Extreme Motion, Straight Fit, size 48x42. The shirt is a Saddlebred 2XL (Long) botton-down collar shirt, and the sweater is a Chaps Cotton Mockneck 2X regular. Everything was purchased at Belk Big and Tall.