Analog Dating in the Digital World: Pretty Fly for a Fat Guy

~Edd

Ah, Tinder. The bittersweet shit show that is modern dating. Tinder is the digital equivalent of posting up at the bar and eye-fucking people across the room. Eye contact and a smile? Now you may approach. Now, as somebody with natural charm and a few extra pounds, that’s no obstacle as long as you’re willing to put in the work and approach first, lay on laughs and show them you’re what they actually want. 

Herein lies the problem with apps like Tinder, Bumble, and the lot. You have a profile, but the pictures are the most important thing. Unless there is a REASON to read the words there, nobody does. 

Now, on Tinder and Bumble, my charm means exactly dick. I am not allowed by the App to talk to people unless they find me attractive. I’m not able to coast by on my looks, being a bigger guy, I have to work for the attention I get. So, you may ask yourself, knowing these things, what’s a funny fat guy to do? Well I could write the words below my pictures and hope they chuckle and give me a chance. I could posts pictures that show I’m quirky and lovable, with puppies and costumes and bullshit like that. I could hope for a chub-chaser. All of these are too passive. I’m a brand new bitch that’s no longer waiting for things to just come to me.








So the big question: is it working? It's too early to know for sure, but the short answer is "Yeah, seems to." I've had 17 matches in 4 days, including 2 "super likes" and a few people even speaking FIRST. Compared to other tinder-attempts, that's damn solid. Most people comment on the pictures specifically. My favorite was one of the super likes that started the conversation with, "YOU BROUGHT YOUR A GAME!" 

So if you want to try something like this and have questions about logistics, comment below. Or, if you like what you see, slide on in my DMs, girl. Rawr

P.S. Totally kidding about the DMs part.