Ain’t No Party Like a Grown Folks Party!

~Riss and Edd

Look at that sweet line-up!

A grown folk party don’t stop! Riss and I are gifted with dumb luck at weird times. I’ve won a free tattoo, a diamond tennis bracelet, several concerts, all from just entering random stuff. This time, Riss won a cabin on Ship Hop 2018. What is Ship Hop you ask? Ship Hop—Hip Hop on a Ship, get it?—is part music fest, part nostalgia fueled fever dream, all fun! Though not a “music fest” in the traditional sense, it was a 4-day voyage of concerts, meet and greets, Q&As, and much more. It was our version of a luxurious music experience, and luckily for all of us, Ja Rule had nothing to do with it. (That was a Fyre Fest joke, kids.)

Look at that thing, so scandalous

Riss and myself have both been on several cruises, but as soon as we stepped on board we knew this one would be different. Right away we heard unedited versions of Ain’t Nothing but a G Thang and Gangsta’s Paradise in the main atrium. Everyone was immediately excited to talk to strangers, almost like they were old friends, and bonded over a shared appreciation of a simpler time. It was like a reunion. Generations of family members traveled together, but left the kids at home.  We saw less than a dozen children the entire trip. Nearly everyone seemed over the age of 25. Almost nobody was awake before 10AM. There were costumes everywhere. It was our type of crowd, our type of weird, and it was heavenly.

Even Rob got in on the action..
 #flatrob!

But let’s talk about the real reason we’re all here: The artists. These dudes killed it! Despite jokes from Kid N Play and others about being old, they were still full of energy, and their voices were as good as ever. Sisco hasn’t aged a day since Thong Song, though he’s still REALLY into his “Dragon” persona from the early 2000’s, which hasn’t aged nearly as well as he has. Despite being over 60, DJ Kool was bouncing around stage, having way more energy even than some in the crowd. There were rough seas due to some storms in the Gulf of Mexico, but the dancers were still landing backflips on stage. Young MC can still flow with his “Fastest Rhyme,” and Salt N Pepa are still looking and sounding great and even showcased some of their more recent music! I’m not going to say that hearing a version of Gansta’s Paradise performed by Coolio in front of a live band was life changing, but I will never be the same again. 

Mr Loc, I must say that Blank Check
changed my life. 

During the last concert on the last night, Riss and I both fucked around and became non-ironic Vanilla Ice fans. Vanilla Ice was, by far, the hardest working promoter on that ship. He was in just about every performance we watched, whether he was slated or not. He hosted a beach party at Paradise Beach during the day in Cozumel. He was loose with the tequila at the bars, and was always ready and willing with a smile, a photo, and an autograph. 

During the first day, Vanilla Ice said that “We’re all teenagers this week.” These guys took that challenge to heart. These people raged until 4 AM every morning, and kept going the next day. This would be a theme throughout the entire cruise, even the last night, when we all had to be off the ship by 8AM. 50 year olds were partying circles around my 31-year-old ass. This was easy to do because there was more than just the music. This is why I wouldn’t refer to this as a “music festival” but more of a “music experience.” In addition to the normal band/fest swag, there was also both a body paint booth, and an airbrush station.  I’ll say that again for the hard of hearing: there was a damn body paint booth in the main drag of this cruise ship. They set up events like dance lessons with Salt n Pepa’s and Sisco’s dancers. There were meet and greets with everybody that were completely free. There was even an event called “Cooking with Coolio.” There was an artist Q&A, where I learned that Salt n Pepa and Kid n Play all used to work at the same Sears store at the same time. I got my picture with a freaking movie quality NINJA TURTLE!! During the comedy show, a cruise-ship staple, Kid from Kid n Play got on stage as the MC. I had no idea Kid was so funny. If he had a Netflix special, I’d watch the hell out of it.

At the end of the 4 days, Riss and I had made some friends, I discovered a love of new (old) music and songs, and had a GREAT time. I would recommend Ship Hop to anybody that wants the feel of a multiple stage, multiple day music experience, but also wants a warm shower and a comfy bed. It was a beautifully diverse and accepting crowd. As Vanilla Ice kept reminding us, “get in where you fit in”.